Pondan & air free

Lokasi kejadian; kedai Mamak Pelita Sg Dua.
Btw, sup dia memang power makan dengan roti benggali.
Apa, tak pernah makan? Kesian~~
Okay la, nak dijadikan cerita aku lepak la dengan kengkawan aku (2 perempuan, 3 lelaki)
Selain aku, ada la seorang lagi perempuan (nama dirahsiakan)
Kalau kau terbuka blog aku, aku minta maaf terkutuk dengan sengaja.
Dari mula sampai lah air dah tinggal setengah gelas.
Dia punya bercakap pasal boyfriend dia (sambil buat muka annoying)
"Dia buat mcmni kat I, dia beli itu ini dekat I, B I ni comel la korang tau?"
Kalau nak tau, B dia tak comel pun.
Muka macam biawak garang okay, tengok pun macam nak telan orang.
Aku syak pakwe dia cannibals.




Jadi 3 lelaki yang dari tadi senyap tetiba bersuara
"Nad, tengok la org semua dah berubah, berpasangan, yang hang tu duk mcmtu ja"
Aku;
"Habih hang nak suruh aku duduk camana lagi? Duduk atas kerusi kan memang camni."
Aku sebenarnya faham, saja nak tengok dia bengang.
Dia sound lagi;
"Yala, org makin lama makin nak ubah itu ini, becoming a better person"
Aku tak puas hati, aku tanya lagi;
"Maksud hang?"
Dia pun sedut air dia dulu, mungkin memang panas dengan aku.
"Orang makin jadi perempuan, hang tu dari dulu sampai sekarang duk kasaq serupa tu ja"




Ini la masalah orang kita.
Depa cakap "don't please someone by being someone else, be yourself"
Bila dah jadi diri sendiri, cakap pulak aku bukan perempuan.




Aku pun dengan muka selamber katak.
Entah la tak pernah tengok katak duduk selambe lepak minum kat Pelita.
Dengan yakin aku jawab;
Hang nak tau satu benda dak? Sebenarnya aku kan... Dah lama berubah.
"Berubah apa?"





"Dulu aku lelaki, sekarang aku pondan"





Hikmah kejadian ni, walaupun aku di sound bagai tiada hari esok;
air aku minum depa kena bayaq sebab aku bangun blah lepas dialog terakhir.

Kifarah menipu (bukan ceramah agama)

So here's the story begin; I went out for a movie with my cousin.
"Hi kenalkan nama cousin saya Amy"
And the not so best part; she brought a friend that I don't even know.
Still the best part is; he was so charming with his braces.
*ciri 1; aku turnon dgn lelaki pakai braces*
(but I did not wet my panties there, chill)



So we meet him up at the cinema and the introduction scene came up.
"Hi ni cousin aku, Nad" and I was smiling like an idiot.
"Hi, I'm Danial btw" with his saliva splashing all over the place.
Ok, maybe it's because of the braces (cerita dari pengalaman) so I ignored it.
We are there early by the movie starts in 15 more minutes so they went to buy popcorns and drinks.
"Akak nak ice lemon tea taknak ice" and she gave me with the ice.
Okay, semua pekerja wayang ni emo dan pekak.
While waiting I was playing fun run (tak seronok pun game seronok lari ni)
Then I looked up at this guy (Danial tu la)
He was talking to my cousin and the whole time he was talking his saliva keep on coming out.
And ENTER into his popcorn box.
(PENGOTORNYA MAMAT NI) jerit dalam hati.
Bla bla the movie starts
And HANYA AKU JA MANUSIA YANG MASIH MAIN HP DLM WAYANG?
Maybe the movie was a lil bit bored. No, I mean super duper bored.
Suddenly Danial pass me his popcorn.
But before that, the awkward moment I was sitting in the middle between my cousin and him.
KRIK KRIK WAHAI CENGKERIK.
So I was like "nvm, I don't eat sweet things"



I thought we will just go home after the movie.
But it was not like what I thought, they head up to baskin robins.
And the most exciting part is "it's on me, aku belanja"
Dialog acah acah lelaki budiman dari Danial.
So, I decided just to sit there and wait up for them to order.
As they returned to the table they were holding two cups of ice cream.
Fokus, kami ada TIGA org kenapa dorang pegang DUA?
"Pity your cousin tak makan benda manis kalau tak dah dapat aiskrim I belanja"





DONT YOU EVER SAY I JUST WALKED AWAY, I'LL ALWAYS WANT YOU
(nyanyi dalam hati untuk aiskrim tu)



Dua pengajaran di sini
1) lelaki HENSEM tak semestinya pembersih.
2) jangan MENIPU kalau nak aiskrim free.